The Self-Sufficient Gardener

I started the podcast in May of 2009 with a simple goal.  I wanted to talk about gardening - an activity I’ve been a part of since I was very very young.  I love gardening and I’d done it both what I consider the right and wrong ways and wanted to share some of the things I’d learned. 

I started this podcast because I was seeing knowledge lost.   One of the greatest gardeners I knew was coming to an end (if you’ve listened to enough podcasts you know who I am talking about) and I felt like I didn’t get a 10th of his knowledge before he passed.  I find this out everytime I speak to my dad.  I started the podcast because I felt like it would be a good gift for my son if he grows up to garden.  Perhaps he might find some wisdom in my words regardless.

Gardening is full of profound truths and damn if I don’t feel like so many are being lost.  They are being lost in favor of cool new methods.  High tech tools.  Fancy worded techniques and the latest trick, tip and shortcut.  If we REALLY wanted to teach our kids we’d teach them the right way.  Society will teach them the easy way.  They have to make the choice between the two for themselves. 

Somewhere along the way of doing the podcast I lost my way.  I had a dream that I could do this and get out of the “rat race”.  It worked to a degree.  The desire to podcast about what I was actually doing and not what I was planning on doing helped.  I didn’t want to pretend to be the latest expert in any given subject just because I had done it 15 years ago or watched someone else do it.  And that led me to resettle my family and I will never regret that decision.  But the part of the dream that went awry was watching other people turn blogging and podcasting into an income source and thinking I could do the same.  It has become clear to me that part of the dream is over.  If I’m going to get out of the rat race this podcast isn’t going to be what does it. 

I love this podcast and I love the people that stuck with me, all the friends I’ve made and the people that supported me along the way.  If you’ve ever spent a dime on a product I’ve sold or answered a call for help I’d made then I count you among my friends.  

I’ve worked 40-48 hours at work every week and then came home to work about 20 hours a week here trying to put together podcasts that would teach and be helpful and full of common sense.  Its become clear to me.  Those of you who find this stuff to be common sense don’t need me.  Those who don’t find it to be common or make sense don’t want me.  All along I’ve told my son Jackson that the time I was spending away from him was going to be worth it in the end.  I talk about obtaining a yield (its a permaculture principle) and yet I was oblivious that I was absolutely not doing that. 

I won’t quote numbers but let’s just leave it at this – with this podcast I earn less than a dollar for every hour I put it.

Though I’ll never be burned out on gardening I am burned out on podcasting about it.  The people that come to the podcast, listen to an episode, gripe about everything I say, try nothing and then move on don’t need me, they need a preacher, a life coach or a self-help guru.  I’m not here to hold hands.  If common sense ain’t good enough then so be it!  

Now for the positive.  At the end of this year I will be a father again.  So I figure trying to podcast for very little reward is not really worth missing any more “moments”.  Its going to be hard to find consistent time to record.  Besides we don’t have easy pregnancies. 

In addition I’ve vowed that the promise this child (as well as Jackson) grows up to isn’t going to be the promise that teaching others to secure their own food will pay off but rather I’M going to secure OUR food.  This means even more work on the homestead.  This means a 640 square foot cabin just got too small.  I’ve really let my family down in search of this one dream.  While I should have been growing more food I was talking about it. 

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m putting the podcast on hold for the foreseeable future.  That might mean one month or it might mean forever – but probably more the former than the latter.  I’ve ceased taking payments on the Garden Club Memberships (I’m asking you to cancel your Paypal auto-withdrawals.  I will still keep it active as well as the site and I may post from time to time.  Anyone who feels that I’ve not been fair and would like a refund please write me and I’ll take care of things. 

I’m putting this podcast on hiatus until I can return with zero expectations from my audience and I do it again because I love it – and I see that my kids need to hear the message.  Tommorrow’s podcast will be the last podcast for a while.  Sometimes a seed has to remain dormant in the soil until the conditions are right for it to emerge.  This is life. 

Jason